A conversation that changed my perspective

No insight from me here.

Rather, some secondhand gratitude and a sense of perspective that I experienced myself.

I was at my gym on earlier in the week, responding to a couple of messages prior to my own training session, when a bloke named Colin popped in to say hello.

Nothing unusual for him. He's a lovely bloke. Always cheerful. I'd never roll my eyes when being 'interrupted' by him as he's always a pleasure to chat to.

He's long retired, however he leases a unit 4 doors down from me as he keeps himself busy by repairing classic cars.

He's always got a joke up his sleeve and this day was no different. He appeared his usual self.

That was until a couple of minutes into the conversation when he said "I'm not sure if you know but my wife Judith passed away last month"

I'd met her a couple of times, albeit not as frequently as Colin, but she had a great reputation amongst those that knew her. It was incredibly difficult hearing this but even harder knowing what to say.

Apparently there were just 67 days between going in to A&E and her passing. Which is so incredibly sad.

Of course, I focused on asking empathetic questions about him and how he's coping. It was reassuring to know that he was still keeping himself active and busy by sticking to his normal routine at the unit.

I felt helpless. It was painful to see a bloke of his character tear up and get upset.

What struck me, were his final words after a good 30 minute chat. He left me with the following statement...

"When you go home tonight and you get in bed with your partner, make sure you give her a big hug... because I can't do that and I really wish that I could."

As you can imagine my gut took that like a blow from Mike Tyson

All I could say was, "Thank you", as he walked away.

After a few minutes to take it all in... i was glad I responded that way, because I was grateful. It gave me a huge dose of perspective.

I do reflect on the things that I am grateful for on a very very regular basis. If you've read any of my letters on the subject you'll know that I like to reframe it in a certain way.

But this experience was powerful.

My partner and I were in a good place that day, but we'd have been 'passing ships' as she heads to work as I'm getting in on a Monday.

On that evening, I did everything I could to get home a little earlier so that I could be extra present her before she left for work... thanks to Colin's message.

It's something I hope to write about and keep with me for as long as I can.

Albeit second-handedly, I now pass this to you...

Whatever frustrations you have right now. Whatever petty disputes you may have had recently. Whatever tasks you may want to put to the top of your list this evening...

... Consider parking them... even just for this evening.

Instead, be extra present with her (and your kids - or whomever, for that matter). "When you go home tonight and you get in bed with your partner, make sure you give her a big hug..."

One of these days, you wont be able to

Have a great day