The truth behind my early confidence (and why it nearly broke me)
When I was younger, confidence came easy…
But looking back, I realise it came from all the wrong places.
I did well in school.
Got my wings.
Flew aircraft at a young age.
Joined the Royal Marines Commandos.
On paper, it looked like I had it sorted.
But beneath it all?
I was constantly seeking validation through achievements.
Here’s the truth:
Despite all of that, I was shy.
Uncomfortable in groups.
Anxious around new people.
So I manipulated conversations just to mention job titles — because it made me feel like I belonged.
And when I was medically discharged from the Marines?
Everything crumbled.
I felt lost.
No brotherhood.
No identity.
No direction.
I stayed in touch with old mates, but we were on different paths.
I craved something more — so I chased it again through professional sport.
Same mistake, just in different clothes.
I spent over 10 years working in elite Rugby League, Ice Hockey, Tennis, and Motorsport — rising to Performance Director.
I earned a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree (with distinction).
But I still felt like a shell of a man.
Externally successful.
Internally… empty.
It wasn’t until I had the chance to work closely with Professor Steve Peters’ Chimp Management that things really started to shift.
Not just in how I coached others — but in how I understood myself.
I realised I’d wrongly linked my self-worth to job titles.
To outcomes.
To proving myself.
And I was completely out of balance — throwing every ounce of energy into work, thinking it would give me back my sense of value.
What I discovered was this:
Your physical performance matters.
But how you view yourself in the mirror?
How you define your identity, your direction, and your purpose — that’s what changes the game.
And I was lucky enough to start learning those lessons as my eldest son was still young.
I got to grow as a man, while shaping the kind of father and role model I wanted to be — during one of the most chaotic seasons of life.
Today, I still help blokes build strength, improve body composition, and sharpen performance…
But that’s not the real work.
The real work is in identity.
Belief systems.
Emotional regulation.
Creating alignment between who you are, what you value, and how you show up — at work, at home, and for yourself.
That’s what Op Rebuild is about.
Helping men become the kind of role model their kids look up to.
While balancing everything else life throws at them — from stress to relationships, to health, to leadership, and beyond.
I know that not everyone is ready nor prepared to seek 1:1 help with stuff like this. So I've created a 5 day course to introduce some of the most important fundaments and principles that I teach those that I do work with.
It's kind of like a fast-pass to the important stuff, so that walk away after a few days knowing exactly what to do to turn things around efficiently and quickly
If you want to know more, reply to this email with the word "RECALIBRATION" or click the button below
Comments